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30. Wow. That went by fast! I can’t believe that I am now in my 30’s officially! As I met my husband before I was 20 it is fair to say that my life feels like it is passing by in the blink of an eye. My 20s have been fantastic to me, gifting me a husband, a home and a child – this makes me all the more excited for my 30s which I think is going to be my best decade yet! As I’m away on holiday with my lovely family at the moment, probably relaxing in a hot tub when this goes live, I wanted to share a few little snippets from a wise old woman – me! 30 things I’ve learned as I turned 30…
30 things I’ve learned as I turn 30
- It’s ok to let go of negative people.
Now, this is a REALLY hard one so I’ve started off with this. I’m not saying that you should cut off ALL negative people, or you may find you don’t have anyone left in your life. I’m also not saying that you shouldn’t be sympathetic towards people having a hard time. However, sometimes there are those friends or even family members, that just constantly want to bring everyone down. Maybe they are sour to you or make snippy comments. It’s absolutely fine not to want to spend time with these people, and not to have to!
- Every bad time will pass.
At the time it doesn’t feel like it but life WILL get better at some point. When people die, jobs are lost or illness hits it can feel like those times will never pass but they do. Think about all the hard times that you’ve been through and chances are that right now life feels better.
- Self-care is important.
I’ve written about self-care as a parent, and even things to do during nap-time to make your day run smoother but self-care goes beyond face masks or a hot bath. Self-care can be paying your bills on time, being savvy with money or refusing to let people treat you badly.
- Supporting others can lift you up in the process
In the past, I have got sucked into bitchiness and crap, mostly online. It just isn’t worth the energy. You can be a supportive person and benefit yourself in the process. I know that head-treaders can often get further in life but who wants to live like that?! Not me that’s for sure!
- It’s never too late to change your career.
I’m not saying you should quit your job today but it is NEVER too late to change. If you’re stuck in a job you detest or working with people you can’t stand, then empower yourself to make a change. Look for further training or job opportunities or just resolve to begin the search for a new job today.
- Becoming a parent is a life-changing event.
You’ll never realise it until you become a parent yourself. It really is that simple!
- You don’t need to be rich to be happy.
As I’ve earned more money, and had more financial freedom, I’ve realised that it isn’t the route to instant happiness. When I had no money I would think that when I’m rich, or when I’ve got X money I’ll be happier. The truth is that most happiness is caused by your own actions. While money does help boost your opportunity to have fun, socialise, work less etc, it doesn’t guarantee you happiness.
- You also can’t buy happiness.
Again, a bit self-explanatory. No amount of money is going to buy you true happiness. You can become happier, and money will help I’m sure, but you can also learn to be grateful for the simple things in life; a roof over your head, food, the bills being paid, money for an ice cream in the park.
- Don’t believe the social media hype.
A LOT of what you read online is crap. Personally, I try to share the highs and lows but even I don’t share them equally. Nobody really wants to be negative online all the time, not when it seems like everyone else is living the good life. Try to avoid comparison syndrome and realise that behind those happy smiles is often problems.
- I never want to stop learning.
I love learning something new every day. Reading books, watching television, socialising with people, attend blog conferences and more. I never tire of improving on myself as a person and I feel really enriched for learning new things.
- Exercising every day boosts my mental health.
So true. Even if it is just 15-30 minutes. Some weeks I don’t lose weight, as I like food too much, but I feel better in myself. My joints work better, my mind feels sharper and I’m happier too.
- A tidy house really does equal a tidy mind.
When I see piles of clutter or I need a de-clutter, I just feel stressed. Being able to wake up and relax in my clean home makes me feel better. I spend time each day ensuring that my home is clean and tidy, although I also let my daughter run free, create a mess, put crumbs all over my kitchen and just generally enjoy our time at home together.
- Avoid comparison syndrome.
I’ve already covered this loosely above but comparison syndrome will eat away at all of your happiness. Sure you might see what your friends are up to, and feel happy for them, but the moment you start comparing things need to change. Comparison is the thief of joy and all that!
- Blogging CAN be a career.
Just look at me…! I’m loving my life now and I love having my own website to share my thoughts and musings, and sometimes help people too. It takes hard work but if I can do it anyone can!
- You can’t be best friends with everyone.
Whether you’re a nice person or not sometimes people just don’t like you. Don’t try so hard on people that don’t matter.
- Let your first judgement about someone be a positive one.
Since I started doing this it has really changed my social habits and who I am as a person. When I see people now instead of thinking a rude comment about their outfit or whatever I look for something positive right off the bat. Maybe they have a nice smile. Perhaps they have a lovely haircut. This makes me feel positive about our interaction before it starts, even if it isn’t always going to be a positive interaction throughout.
- Admitting to anxiety isn’t a weakness.
I used to think that if I said I had anxiety about a situation that I was being weak. Now I realise that it takes strength to talk about anxiety and to try and change things. Also, if I tell someone I am feeling anxious about a specific moment or situation often people will help me to stay calm and make me feel better, and thus help the anxiety to pass.
- Jealousy is a waste of time.
This ties back in with comparison syndrome really but don’t waste your time, or your life, being jealous of others. Instead work harder, achieve what you want and make things happen.
- It’s ok to wait for things.
Our daughter took SEVEN years to arrive. It was such a hard time, however, it worked out well in the end. If we had a baby at the beginning of our seven years, and she was as poorly as our daughter has been, it would have been hard to juggle work, and not having a lot of money, with our daughter’s needs.
- Habits can make or break you.
Since I developed better habits it has really helped to shape my life better. Exercising, eating better, meal planning and financial planning has helped our lives and best of all it is all ‘normal’ to us now too!
- Don’t feel bad swapping money for time.
If you can afford to then relieve yourself of the guilt of swapping your money for time. If you don’t enjoy cooking and want to buy ready meals, then do so. If you want to pay someone to clean your home then do. If you know the value of your time, or even just don’t want to do a specific job anymore, then consider paying someone to help you out.
- Being organised may save your life.
Attending smear tests, visiting the dentist, going to the optician and anything else related to your health, where you need to be organised, may just save your life. Years ago my optician saw a problem with my eye that may just have saved my life.
- It’s ok to need to sleep.
You don’t have to sit up until 1-2am every night trying to be Superwoman or Superman. You can turn your computer off, go to bed early, sleep, read or just relax. Sleep is vital for your body and at some point, you need to learn to respect that.
- Coffee is life.
Decaf, regular, lattes, mochas, latte macchiatos, Americanos whatever you enjoy just enjoy it. Coffee is life! Some days, if Daisy has had a bad night, coffee is all I’m looking forward to when I open my eyes!
- C-sections are hard work. Despite what the phrase ‘too posh to push’ would suggest.
Standard really. Any operation where they basically cut your body in half is bloody hard work. If you’re of the opinion that a c-section is easy then perhaps opt to have one yourself!
- Having a budget is amazing.
Even though our finances are really good these days, the best they’ve ever been, we still work to budgets. This keeps us on track with our savings goals and also gives me lots of satisfaction when we come in under budget.
- Food really can change your health.
Eating better; fruits and vegetables, supplements, less fat etc, can really help you feel better. We do still love a takeaway from time to time but cutting back on eating bad food has left me feeling more motivated, stronger and healthier too.
- When someone is vile to you it speaks volumes about them, not you. Usually!
When you work online, like I do, you open yourself up to negative comments. Sometimes people will make a rude comment about my appearance, or one of my parenting choices, but I know that ultimately this isn’t a reflection on me. Often people lash out, physically or verbally, when they are unhappy with themselves.
- Experiences mean more than belongings.
When I think back over the last 10 years I rarely think about things I purchased. Instead, I think about experiences, days out, events in our life and gifts I received. I think about moments with my husband and daughter, and living our lives together.
- Nobody has life all figured out.
Don’t believe the hype.
There you have it – 30 things I’ve learned as I turn 30! I’m really excited for the next decade, when we buy a house and complete our family. Also, I’m looking forward to getting a dog!! I love so many breeds but mostly I love the Sheepadoodle!